Have a great year ahead!

I wrote this recently in an email meant for mass-market distribution. I didn’t want to violate the fact that hindsight is 20/20 so I sent it out first and thought about it later.

What is “have a great year ahead” anyway? There are only two reasons for wishing someone like this

1. As an insurance policy: The friend may turn out to be an asshole within the space of a year (or so). You certainly can’t unwish people so just stick to wishing them for the coming year. If their appraisal in December next year indicates they are performing well, go ahead and wish them for the year after that, and so on.

2. Ensures you have something to say: I suck at maintaining friendships. For people like me, the December holiday season is an oasis in the middle of a desert of zero communication. It’s like donating a token sum (like a dollar for Haiti) at your grocery checkout counter and floating away on a magic carpet of perceived redemption. If you wish someone beyond the coming year, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NEXT DECEMBER?!

And so,

To the people I know and don’t stay in touch with, have a wonderful 2011!

To the people I don’t know, have a great life ahead!

Or, stick the universal set: HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!