Making corruption more pleasant
A little late in the day maybe but a couple of random things got me thinking about the process of bribery. First, Chica got riled up about a picture of Dr Ambedkar on a 1000 Rs note. Then I recalled the famous “Zero Rupee” note to eliminate corruption.
I’m skeptical about the long-term viability of the Zero Rupee Note. For starters, I’ll expend money printing it, or buying it and the value of the note is zero?
Secondly, think about those poor sods demanding bribes. How do they feel everytime you shove notes in their hand and they see the Mahatma staring back at them? It is an unpleasant reminder of promises not kept to the Father of the Nation. Of spinning charkha wheels behind bars if they ever get caught. Handing them Zero Rupee notes might just exacerbate the situation, no?
I say we should make the whole process more palatable – for us and them. The Indian public at large must be in a state of givvup by now so one end of the equation is taken care of. Let’s talk about the corrupt. Shouldn’t we show some empathy and print banknotes that bear the images of their intended recipients? It will encourage more genial barter of services. So here goes
Coins or Re 1: Leave them blank, nobody cares for those anymore
Rs 5: Beggar (not implying they’re corrupt, but they are freeloaders)
Rs 10/20/50: Traffic havaldars
Rs 100: A composite of traffic havaldars and inspectors. Or Waiters at any restaurant that include Gratuity AND a Service Charge.
Rs 500: Any government babu. Many choice candidates for artwork can be seen lurking outside Mantralaya or MLA-canteen in Mumbai on extended “lunch breaks”.
Rs 1000: Any serving Government Minister.
I’m open to alternate suggestions. Share your bribery experiences and how you could’ve improved customer interaction had such notes been in existence.
Also, anyone with artwork experience, feel free to take a crack at bringing these to life. kthxbai.