What’s In a Name…

…but the delightful possibility of mangling it. I’ve thought of my name as pretty easy to pronounce…vowels constitute 50% of it for God’s sake! And yet, I discover new interpretations everyday, mostly at airports. Buying a coffee at an airport Starbucks is twice as hard compared to the city.

Everytime I’m asked my name for the order I mentally prepare myself for some outrageous noun metamorphosis. On each occasion I carefully say my name, stretching the vowels, stressing the consonants. This is usually met with complete indifference in the city and consternation in airports.

“Wha’ was that?”

I do it again

“Huh? Is that ______?”

At this point they insert their take. Past winners include Nije, Need, Kiyash, Deej and today, Leader. That’s right…Leader (maybe Lieder). Leader? How does it even sound like Leader?

To be fair, they don’t just do it with Indians, or me. An American standing in line behind me was so incensed with their inability to get his name right, he barked “tell you what, just write Lucifer on my cup”.

I never have this problem at Dunkin Donuts. They give me amazing smiles and completely disregard my name. Also maybe because the same person bills and serves me, it doesn’t matter what my name is.

Someone I know once decided to rechristen me as Nicholas because she was having trouble saying my name right. Maybe “Nick” will work better with Starbucks.

So Starbucks…who should I be today?



3 responses to “What’s In a Name…”

  1. OutOfOrder says :

    HAHAH, yeah havent we all experienced that!
    “Yes, im the one with the flat white , thanks that was me! ”

    Also, whats weird is that my name got effed up by the guys in an Indian Call centre. Yeah! Unfuckingbelievable!

  2. Rohan says :

    You have no idea the shit my surname goes through. And not even in Starbucks.

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