I was JUST thinking the same thing!

A common married-person joke is to say “Oh look! He/she said exactly what I was thinking. We’re well and truly married. Sigh”.

That is one joke where the humor eludes me. What is so pitiful about your spouse thinking EXACTLY the same thing that you are?

I remember most social interactions since I was a teenager and the near-constant, overwhelming urge to mortally wound the person in front of me because he/she just wasn’t “getting” half the things I was saying. Now that could be because I was smarter or dumber but I’ll go with the former (’cause this is MY blog).

Friends are chosen because they share certain interests. Of them, best friends seem to “get” you better than the others because they are mentally in tune with your thoughts.

I took it one step further and married my best friend and it is a RELIEF to me when she says exactly what’s on my mind. Or we blurt the same joke/pun simultaneously. Fail to see how that’s boring.

It’s reassuring to have someone on the same wavelength as you. Even better if it is a person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with.



14 responses to “I was JUST thinking the same thing!”

  1. Naveen Bachwani says :

    My thoughts exactly !

  2. Anirban says :

    There is nothing pitiful about having a spouse think the same thing. Quite the contrary, I think a marriage is set up for some choppy waters if the two people in it don’t think alike with respect to their core values.

    Of course this doesn’t mean that the personalities or behavioral traits have to be the same.

    My new rant is against psychology and the whole “she is talkative so she should marry a quiet guy” stereotyping. Those are superficial differences which spice up life. But we never hear about deal-breakers like “she is very honest so she is compatible with an unscrupulous scumbag”.

  3. Giribala says :

    Sigh! You are so lucky! My husband and I think of entirly different things, but it’s ok for me as he takes care of all practical matters.

  4. divya says :

    All the same-thinking guys i meet are either already married or gay. Like they say, men (most of ’em!) are like public toilets. The best ones are taken, and the rest are full of shit!

  5. Shefaly says :

    Neeraj: There is much evidence that amongst the many reasons divorce is so traumatic for many people is the fact that the couple builds, unknowingly a shared memory. In plain, English this means that one person does not have the burden of remembering entire events, experiences and even filing places. An outcome of such a “shared” resource is that many couples do think the same thing – regardless of whether they have been friends before or not – because their mutual dance of retrieval from the shared archives is well-practised. With divorce, such a shared memory is lost, contributing to the trauma.

    Extending the analogy, such a shared memory can be made with other persons too – friends being an obvious one but a parent or sibling with whom you enjoy a strong relationship is usually the most likely candidate.

    Interesting point you make :-)

    • daddysan says :

      Super, Shefaly. Makes sense. Of course, I approached the problem from a very narrow perspective: my own experience.

      Just like Narendra said above, over time the bundle of shared experiences will probably ensure compatibility in thought. Maybe that’s when they refer to “being totally married” and end with sighs. :)

  6. naren says :

    It’s taken a while and lots of training but I now get the exact thought that my wife gets :)

    Enjoyed the post!

    • daddysan says :

      ROFL. Thanks! Hasn’t life improved considerably being able to predict exactly what the wife will say in response to those attempts at fixing things around the house? ;D

  7. Raytida says :

    You went off and married your best friend eh? My best friend is male, alas.

    Also, when you guys think the same thing, do you go: “Hahaha! #simulthought!”

    I can already picture that in my head—people actually saying ‘hash simulthought.’

    I know. I have a crazy head.

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