What’s A Guy To Do?
What’s a guy to do? Surrounded as he is on all sides by the raging fires of overreaction and inequity. Hanging on to the last remaining vestiges of dignity as his freedoms are curtailed. What kind of a world do we live in where it’s become impossible to approach within a mile of a woman without your motives being questioned? And what of the shrill rhetoric of feminists vituperously scribbling their poisonous “analyses” in Salon, Atlantic or worse, long form in the New Yorker?
Yes ma’am (and sir), this world is now officially unjust to men. Good, honest men merely looking to engage in their harmless backroom chatter and hidden stares. What’s so wrong about that?
Can’t even enjoy a game of cricket anymore without someone screaming about the “male gaze” and sexualization of sport. With respect, this doesn’t just happen in the IPL. All major sporting events in the US include their fair share of leggy, busty, beautiful women indulging in physical or verbal calisthenics in front of the camera. Of course, some of them actually know about the sport, which is a bonus! But why judge the women who are there to provide a pleasing foil to the terse and mostly ridiculous commentary from the windbags masquerading as “experts”? Would I rather hear two more minutes of inanities from Sidhu instead of an unrelated but very pleasing blither from the sexy Rochelle Rao? If you have a problem with it, I suggest you change the channel. This was a free country the last time I checked. (BTW, I just stared at that dining chair for a good two minutes. Am I objectifying it or demeaning its role in any way? No, I’m admiring it. Period.)
Boss, it’s become fucking impossible for men to even venture out anymore. Everywhere we go we’re met with suspicious looks. Girls won’t even give us a chance. They immediately call the police to have us beaten up or summon those male relatives who haven’t been beaten up yet by other policemen for straying close to girls. It’s a jungle out there. All these incidents of “sexual violence” against women have been trumped up by a biased media looking to make an issue out of trivialities. Granted, there was a very bad rape in Delhi but now it appears that anyone with a penis is a rapist! What kind of a country do we live in?! We’re making the Taliban look like Club Med operators.
Let’s leave the struggles of the common man aside for a moment. Even the frikkin PRESIDENT of the UNITED STATES, the most POWERFUL MAN in the WORLD, can’t share a compliment without being assaulted by the shrill cries of “SEXIST”!!! Pray, do tell, what’s so sexist about a harmless and FACTUALLY CORRECT (verified after a quick tour of Google image search) statement about the physical beauty of Ms Kamala Harris? Umm, yes so she’s an attorney general and is another example of women breaking the glass ceiling yada yada but are we to believe she doesn’t use a mirror? Does she not feel flattered when someone compliments her beauty? Some know-it-alls tell me that a person’s identity is the sum total of many different aspects of his or her life. That their role at work is an integral part of this identity. I’ve been told that objectifying such an important aspect of one’s identity with physical attributes invariably demeans and trivializes those
achievements (I meant becoming attorney general, not being hot). Some folks have even shared research with me which proves that referring to a woman’s physical attributes is almost always construed negatively with respect to her professional role. Wow. Mountain out of a molehill much? Look at Jon Hamm, who’s the relentless target of people curious about where his rather sizeable hamm is languishing at any given moment. Does he let it affect him? NO!
(Uhh what? He has a problem with it? Sshh! Get lost, I’m in the middle of something!)
Perhaps President Obama should stick to complimenting inanimate drones on their wing sizes and missile capacity.
I can’t enjoy sport, I can’t ogle women in public office but I can read blogs without such interference. Thank god for stuff like the “10 hottest bloggers” restoring sanity to a crazed world. Because it’s super important for me to know that the person scribbling those profundities is also easy on the eyes. Gives it that extra oomph and persuasiveness, wot? The internet remains the last bastion of hope in this affair.
These little oases notwithstanding, it’s been a frustrating experience. For a while, I even tried subscribing to the growing point of view that women have it bad. That ordinary men like me should step up, make ourselves and others aware of the subtle sexism that persists (sometimes unwittingly) in our daily actions and BE THE CHANGE. But then I’ve been told I’m not a woman who faces this everyday so perhaps it’s best not to shout impassioned inanities from an armchair.
That’s the final nail in the coffin. You won’t let us be near you. You won’t let us be with you. What the fuck do you want us to do? Shrivel up and end our lives? NO! Today, we must pledge to take our manhood back in the name of all that’s normal, acceptable within a patriarchal society and held sacred by mildly sexist religious texts. Today, we pledge to be men once again, proud of our natural (but suitably constrained depending on social situation) urges and physical strength bestowed upon us that’s regrettably useless when birthing a child.
What the world needs more of is Menism. Who’s with me?